Reflections on Sarnath Novitiate 2009
(1) by Punna White:
Through the strong aspiration of a very good friend, I found myself committing to a journey to Sarnath. The months leading to the novitiate was full of indecisons - should I go? India can be so basic and umcomfortable! Can I spare the time off? What about the logistics of the travelling? What about the house! Who will be home to water the garden? The questions and excuses were endless! Nevertherless we (my husband and I) bit the bullet and went to Sarnath. For me, the experience was more than words can describe. To be in Sarnath was to be reminded at the most basic gut level of the sacrifices and the enormity of the Buddha's achievement. Being on novitiate allowed an immersion into the energy and sanctity of Sarnath that could not have happened without the trappings of novitiate. The feeling of liberation from worldly duties (albeit temporary) allowed the realisation of how truly blessed we are to have the Dhamma discovered and taught by the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago . I felt my faith renewed and refreshed. I know that whatever may happen in life, there is the light of the Buddha Dhamma always shining bright. It’s the beacon at the top of the hill and it shines eternally and no one ever needs to feel lost or alone for the light is both guide and friend. Punna White
Upasika 2009
(2) by Sujata Lim Su See: As we stepped on to the airplane headed for Sarnath, many thoughts went through my mind: Sadness – at leaving the family behind Anxiety – at how I was going to cope in India after hearing all the stories about how basic things were going to be, the dirt, the dust and the poverty of India Worry – at how was I going to handle the rigorous and strict lifestyle of being a novice upasika – could I cope with 2 vegetarian meals a day for 14 days, could I sit at meditation for such a long time, how was I going to pass the time daily etc. Guilt – at not having practised as I should have and how was I going to face Sister and Bhante who probably expected more from me. When we got to Sarnath, the first few days was difficult – weather, change of routine, winding down, aching body, pins and needles, sore back, lack of concentration, hoping for the sessions to end so that I could escape back to the room to rest, all of it was a challenge. But then, something wonderful also happened at Sarnath. The lessons that sprang forth day after day through the experiences that I went through cannot be described. The main reflections for me: Gratitude : In particular as I offered the robes to my uncle, T. C. Lim, I was overwhelmed with a huge sense of gratitude to him as truly he is my first teacher in Buddhism. I also felt the gratitude towards my father who was always the quiet force behind me, never pushing but always there to support me and whose gentle character shaped my own thinking tremendously. I felt tremendous gratitude for so many individuals who have played roles in my life, guiding and helping me along up to this stage in my life – people I had not thought of for a long time. Forgiveness: I felt a heavy burden and sense of guilt lifted off my shoulder when Bhante spoke about forgiveness – not just forgiving others but forgiving yourself. Don’t knock yourself so much and I began to realise that for all the things that I have done wrong, surely I must have also done some things right in order for me to be here, in Sarnath, at the very site where the Buddha preached the first sermon and where the 5 ascetics and over 80 monks became Arahants. Asking for forgiveness helps one to peel off some of the hardness and layers of rubbish one has piled on in order to “protect” oneself from being vulnerable. This realisation took away not only the mental pain but all the chronic and severe physical pain I was experiencing seemed to disappear from my neck, shoulders, back, legs and more importantly, the heaviness and tightness in my head also melted away. Kalyana Mitra – How fortunate I was to be able to go on this spiritual journey with so many of the people from my past, whom though for many years did not play a significant role anymore in my life, suddenly reappear in my life, urging and encouraging me on this journey. I was fortunate enough to celebrate my birthday in Sarnath and though I was sad as this was the first time my husband and children were not there to celebrate with me, I also realised that I was surrounded by my Dhamma family – when you have 150 people all wishing you long life, good health, happiness and wishing you great progress in your spiritual pursuit, the feeling is unreal. And the icing on the cake came when my family did manage to get their birthday message across to me through the Maha Bodhi Society! I have made some good Dhamma friends and I know, with great certainty, that I have now a circle of friends who will help, support and guide me along this difficult path to attain liberation. Faith – The experiences I had in Sarnath not only reaffirmed my faith in the Triple Gem but it grew into a much stronger faith that this is the path I need to walk, in order to liberate myself and help others along. It is a faith that is driving me forwards with much greater determination than I ever had before. Truly, being present in Sarnath and I’m sure, other holy sites, and the thought that this was the place where the Buddha actually walked, lived and preached, not only reaffirms but certainly strengthens your faith in the Buddha Dhamma unquestioningly and irrevocably. Practice and Urgency – The experience in Sarnath has given me a greater sense of urgency on the need to practise more regularly and with certainly more conviction than before. When before I felt like “maybe I think I should meditate” it is now more of “I want to and need to meditate” which I never felt before. The Sarnath Novitiate Program turned out to be more than what I thought it would be. It helped me gain confidence, reaffirmed my strong faith in the Buddha Dhamma, offloaded a lot of mental rubbish and burdens and gave me a sense of peace and inner tranquillity that I cannot describe. When you feel the connection with the Buddha, especially in a holy place like Sarnath, the feeling is indescribable. My most heartfelt gratitude and thanks to Bhante Mahinda and Sister Sumitra for their selfless efforts in teaching and guiding us at the Novitiate. Although there were over 150 people there, you often felt that they heard or knew your question or doubt and they were there to give you the answer or solution. Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu! Sujata Lim Su See
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